June 4, 2008

In Memory of Arthur R. Medeiros (May 14, 1924 - March 12, 2008)

Henry James once said, “Sorrow comes in great waves…but it rolls over us, and though it may almost smother us it leaves us on the spot and we know that if it is strong we are stronger in-as-much as it passes and we remain.

My grandfather never liked to be the center of attention. If he were with us now, he would want us to take the focus off him and put it on us. He would not want us to focus on the sadness of his death, but instead look at the happiness we still have in our lives. He would want us to look at each other and appreciate what we have together and what we hope to make better.

Prologue

On May 14, 1924, Arthur R. Medeiros' long and fulfilling life began.  His journey to this day would take him through over eight decades of human history.  The journey would allow him to find his soul mate in Adelaide and marry her.  However, his journey would have to endure war; and in 1943 he headed off to fight against a great evil, leaving his precious Adelaide to wonder if she would ever see her beloved again.  Over 400 thousand Americans ended their journeys on the battlefields of Europe and Asia, but  Arthur made it home to his wife and his journey was able to continue...  That was last time they would ever be apart...

In 1947, my father Arthur Jr. was born and a whole new chapter of my grandfather's life was written.  He was now not only a loving husband, but also a loving father.  A few years later my grandparents took in a young Hungarian refugee named Magda who fled the oppression of her war-torn country and raised her as their own.

He was a constant presence in my father's life, whether it was coaching his little league team or volunteering as a scoutmaster for my father's Boy Scout Troop.  

He joined the Falmouth Fire Department in 1952 and retired after 26 years of faithful service to his community.  He also had the honor of working with his son and son-in-law as both joined the Department and learned from his experience.

Both Arthur Jr (affectionately known as Coke) and Magda later married and had children of their own (Dean, Robin, Kevin, and Daniel.)  Robin has three children (Gino, Mariah, and Shari), Daniel has two (Abagail and Amber), and I now have a strong-willed three year old named Hadley.  Bringing the grand total to six great grand children.  Now even in death his family grows with the addition of Gino's new baby and his first Great Great grandchild.  

Narrative

My grandfather was strong willed, stubborn, and I am pretty sure I can trace my Napoleonic complex directly back to him.  He was 5 foot nothing and maybe weighed 135 pounds in high school, but yet excelled at sports that were reserved for much bigger athletes.  He played football, baseball, basketball and even played semi pro football.  He loved his sports and loved his town.  He always asked about how Falmouth sports were doing even after moving away.

One of the proudest moments of my life came on a rainy Thanksgiving Day in 1992 when I was lucky enough to be part of something special.  My grandfather's beloved Falmouth Clippers beat the Barnstable Red Raiders with the help of a 5 foot nothing “Napoleonic” tailback running through the rain drops and mud-covered field, marching his team to a last-second victory.  It completed a three peat of sorts for my family.  Both my grandfather and father had the privilege of being on the winning side of this long standing football rivalry.  I saw how proud both my father and grandfather were and, believe it or not, I am pretty sure both of them shed tears that day.  Even though they probably blamed it on the rain.  My lasting memory of that day always begins and ends with my dad and grandfather hugging a muddy, battered and bruised son and grandson and the pseudo tears that may or may not have been rain drops.

I was recently sitting with my Uncle Chip and we were talking about him.  He said “that the reason Patton made it into Germany before anyone else was because Arthur knew the directions.” 

He served as a member of the 191st  Tank Battalion stationed in the European Theater under Patton.  He served his country with great dignity, honor, and respect.  Both my brother and I developed our love for this country primarily because of how proud we were of his service to his nation.  Both of us have a true love for history that not only lead to my eventual degree in History, but it also had a profound effect on my brother and his love not only for World War II but also the Civil War.  We learned to respect our flag, our country, and our troops from him, but most importantly respect the foundation and strength that makes us American.

Winston Churchill once said that “Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others.”

About a month before he passed away, I was sitting in my office at work reading the newspaper.  My co-worker leaned over and noticed that I was actually reading the obituaries.  He noticed that I had a solemn look on my face and asked if I was okay.  I told him that I do this everyday, because the greatest generation is fading away.  By reading their stories I can in a small way give my respect and acknowledge their part in saving the world from tyranny and making us a shining beacon of freedom.  My grandfather was a proud member of this generation and all of us owe a debt of gratitude to them.  We should all remember that before they are all gone and their stories are lost forever.

What I also learned and learned well from my grandfather was never to be late.  To this day if I am running late I actually get physically ill.  If you knew him, you were always on time (or early) or you would be left behind. 

His friends referred to him as the “Wagonmaster” because he would lead western expansion-like expeditions down to Florida every year.  Everyone followed Arthur because again, he knew where he was going, how long it would take, and where the best places to eat were from here to Brandenton.  He was the one that planned, organized, and lead his people to the promise land that is Florida.  Not only that, but once they got down there he decided that he should bring a little piece of home so he organized what would become “Falmouth Day” down in Brandenton.   An event that to this day goes on every year.  When that man got in a car, there was no stopping him and he could drive forever.  Unfortunately these are not traits my father inherited, unless you count that he knows where every bathroom is on the eastern seaboard.

You may or may not know that my grandfather was an avid dancer and would go out with Elvida, John, Kathleen, Joe and my grandmother every Saturday night for years to cut a rug.  For anyone who has seen me dance, that gene was lost on me and I apologize for the train wreck that are my dancing moves.  However, my grandfather was quite the Fred Astaire and would love to get out on the dance floor and show off his moves.  I think most of all he just loved spending time with his friends and his beloved wife Adelaide.

Sweet Goodbye

Friends, family, and most importantly his wife of over 66 years!  This is what was truly important to him.  It is what drove him each day.  Got him out of bed in the morning and even at the end the only thing he cared about was that my grandmother was taken care of.

I never truly understood my grandparents relationship until I got married.  I finally got it.  Even though you occasionally fight and yell, at the end of the day the most important thing to remember is what brought you together in the first place – unconditional love.  I know now that unconditional love was the cornerstone of my grandparents marriage and every successful marriage.  They were each others soul mates.

Nana: because of what grampa has built and your memories of him, you will persevere on.  Always know that he will always be with you.  In your heart, in the faces of your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, great great grandchildren, family, and friends.  You will never be alone.  Because we are here.  He has left you with the greatest gift of all, unconditional love from all of us.

I ask all of you not to mourn his death today, but to celebrate his life.  A life that has touched all of us.

I want to thank you all for being here today, for your constant support, and most importantly your undying love for a man who helped give me the strength to be up here today. 

I would also like to thank my parents, my aunt and uncle, my brother and most importantly my grandmother for the honor, privilege, and opportunity to say a few words about my Grampa Golf.

I leave you with this final thought:

Eulogy for a Veteran

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am a diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
I am the flower in the backyard,
Planted there with loving regard.
When you awake in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starshine at night.
Do not stand by my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.

Sincerely written with love on the Third Day of June, Two Thousand and Eight

Your Grandson.